Perspective

Still displaced and doing my best.

The last two weeks.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since the fires broke out. As of today (January 20), the Eaton Fire has burned 14,021 acres, is 87% percent contained, and has destroyed 9,416 structures with another 1,064 structures damaged. The Palisades fire has burned 23,713 acres, is only 59% contained, and has destroyed 6,051 structures with another 788 damaged.

I evacuated my little bungalow in Pasadena on January 7. My best friend who lives at the base of Eaton Canyon texted me as soon as the fire broke out. She grabbed her two babies and left without much. My fear paralyzed me more than I expected. I texted Sacha and Cory. Was everyone evacuating? Thanks to my bffs text, I had time to pack up my valuables. The power in my neighborhood was in and out, so I put on a headlamp (thank god I had one for night harvests on the vineyard) and made a few trips to my car in my driveway with boxes of photo albums and my mom’s things. The wind was insane, oak trees that lined the streets of my neighborhood had toppled over, blocking roads and creating chaos to leave the neighborhood. After what we saw in the Palisades that morning, I put on my Blundstones just in case I had to make a run for it. My safety became more important than my things and I left without much.

I just moved in September and I was putting the finishing touches on my house in December with a few more pieces arriving in January. After a tough summer (more of that here), moving into my home was the biggest sigh of relief. I hardly left my neighborhood because being there felt so good.

I live on the north border of Pasadena with neighboring Altadena just a block away. I quickly realized Altadena was the perfect neighborhood. I ran all my errands on Lake or Mariposa. I brought all my friends to Amara Kitchen and Minik Market. I bought my coffee beans exclusively at Cafe de Leche. I’d get as much I could for the house at Altadena Hardware. I’d drive a bit out the way to Hastings Ranch to grocery shop because it was slightly quieter than downtown Pasadena. I’d go on walks with my best friend and her babies in the beautiful neighborhood off of Altadena Drive. We’d pick our favorite houses and I mentally noted which ones I dreamed of being mine one day.

If you’ve never been to Altadena, let me try to paint you a picture. The homes were old and charming. Nancy Meyers after Nancy Meyers. I’d often think: “These are irreplaceable” as I walked by. The trees were strong and towering, easily showing its old age. Neighbors loved their landscaping and gardens. There was always parking. The town was built at the base of the mountains, which would turn pink as the sun set.

As we all navigate the next steps of smoke remediation, insurance, and our health, there are a lot of unknowns. My home is still standing, but the smoke damage inside my home and many others, mean that are homes are not livable yet. For someone who likes to get scrappy, it’s hard to let go of all control and simply accept the reality of what so many others are going through. I’ve done all I can do right now, so now, we wait. I’ve had to narrow this all down to an inconvenience, because I am one of the lucky ones. I keep going back to perspective.

I’ve been thinking about the purpose of this post. How do I incorporate pre-fire life here but accept the reality of what’s happening in LA? Life continues even when we’re not ready. We have to keep our businesses running, even if selling wine and posting my favorite skincare products feel… wrong.

When the devastation is so deep for thousands of people in my community, I keep turning to my blessings. I may not be able to live in my cute little house for the next couple of weeks, but I still have my cute little house to go back to (hopefully soon) when so many others can’t. I’ve been able to spend quality time with my family. I have my health, work that I love, I can move my body, I have friendships that I cherish.

My heart is heavy for everyone who lost their homes. My heart is aching for the displaced families with kids asking when they can go home. There is an overwhelming amount of sadness and confusion blanketing our community right now. So much information is being shared. A new narrative goes viral each day.

What I do know is that the beautiful mountains I look to from my kitchen window will flourish in due time. Houses and businesses will be rebuilt. Will they be the same? Honestly, I’m pessimistic about it. I’m trying my damn best to believe the charm will resurrect, but I’m afraid of what the developers will do. It’s hard to imagine going back home with all of my favorite places burnt to ashes. Our perfect little town is gone… for now.

What I’ve learned from hardship over the years is that we are more resilient than we think. The universe will never give us anything we cannot handle. And of course, the only way out is through.

If you’re looking for a way to support families directly, here’s a massively long list I compiled of GoFundMe pages for families who have lost everything. If you can spare a few dollars, I hope you can consider helping my neighbors in need.

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Glimmers of joy.

In an attempt to getting back into a normal schedule, here are a few things that have brought me joy the last two weeks, even if I’ve barely gotten dressed. More ‘regular’ content coming soon… maybe.

• A safe place to sleep

• My family and friends

• Donni Pants and Top on repeat

• UGGS for any and all errands

• Eberjey PJs and the coziest socks

• The only three face products I brought with me. Thank god because I swear by them: U Beauty Super Hydrator, Resurfacing Compound, and Face Wash. Code: catchen for 20% off

• Oh and I somehow packed my OSEA Body Oil and Butter and thank god? Code: catchen10 for 10% off

• Daily Melissa Wood Health workouts to keep my mind right

• Cosrx Face Masks because it’s dry AF

• Starting Sakara next week because being out of my kitchen has been a doozy. Join me! Code: catsakara for 20% off

• Babyfoot because WTF not

• The only electrolytes that I am down with and use every day. Neen using all Bodybio products for 10+ years and swear by them, especially PC (Gwyneth approved)

The ashes on my desk in my house 😵‍💫

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